So lots of people have the same link. It was also because he just sunk $8k into a gift that everybody laughed at. Your fianc sounds like a child who didnt get his way. 8k. Not to mention, that at 30 years old, he doesn't have his shit together enough to be able to afford a $300 xbox for himself? Id pump the breaks on any wedding plans if you can. I can't imagine why a 16 year old would agree to make this trade unless he had fairly severe autism or something. NTA, honey, dont marry that man and find you some really good BLACK friends. Here you go , NTA!!! Nothing good can come of getting married to him. There are not enough words to describe how incredibly messed up that was. NTA. Also times are tough right now with shutdowns and everything however he really couldn't get a job at some factory or something in the mean time? Your white partner bought you a monkey picture for Christmas you may need a wrench for your bed, OP. He is truly the person that forced your brother into giving him the Xbox you bought him. It's like 8-year-old behaviour. So my solution to this is to play games the whole day." A lot of people have lost their jobs over years, especially this year. My writing was terrible so i bought a pen to encourage me to write more. You can beg him to go to therapy but chances are he will refuse. That is a topic you and he have to cover if your relationship continues. Someone not quite smart enough to be a moron. This is HORRIFIC! NTA - Dave made a present for you all about him. Oh sweetie this is classic narcissist and then gaslights you. There are so many scenarios posed where there is just no realm where the OP could be considered the one in the wrong. You can't therapize someone out of behaviour that they don't feel is wrong. I'll admit that there were better ways I could've gone about reacting to the gift, and I do feel guilty about totally running off like that without any warning, but I was completely uncomfortable with the situation and I didn't feel like staying around to be laughed at. The fact that the fiance can not sympathize with the kid is very worrying but its more worrying that OP isn't quite sure if she has done anything wrong. This guy is showing you he's an ass. That just seems weird to me unless the perfume was crazy expensive. Can't belive I have to scroll this far to see someone actually concerned for the guy. 95% of my family lives in that part of Michigan. And painful to realize. I'm not so sure about this being unfair. Hes a monster! Wait, he waited 9 days to contact you?? The reason for buying them is if you expect the price to go up in the future so you can sell for a profit. So no major blowout happened. you W B T A if you stay with this guy who steals from sick children. Lol. I would throw the whole douche away, Even his entire family were like wtf were you thinking?, He must be so dense, that light actually bends around him. ", "Wait a minute! He was so happy and I'm glad I was able to cheer him up during those times. Either hes having a mental health crisis that somehow works tk benefit him or hes decided to reveal hes an asshole when youre the least reliant on him. Cut your loses, NTA, Doesnt even need to be an even trade. It is not a good reason to ruin other peoples' holidays, and it's definitely not an excuse to lash out at people who are supporting you. Maybe opt out of the wedding? If they did and he still did this, it shows he is a neglectful partner and short sighted. If this isnt a red flag, I dont know what is. Your fiance took a gift from a sick child. Please dont waste more time with him. Hold the fuck up. We can't find out and we've been searching for years. Can tell you right now that he has done stuff like this before and you just don't know about it. What disgusting behavior. I was asleep when he came back. HUGH JASSHOLE! Oh I completely agree, I think OP's fiance seems completely despicable, especially since he keeps doubling down that he did nothing wrong, denying that he "stole"/bullied the brother, refusing to apologize, etc Or, if he really is just going through some severe mental health challenges and she really wants to save their relationship, it could maybe, possibly work (no guarantees, especially since he doesn't seem willing to change, but it'd be their best shot anyway). Smh. In glad you worked things out, but please tell him not to delete the wallet! This is great example of why you shouldn't move in together until after you're married. I hope you see this, OP. I wonder why the parents didn't say something? Then gets pissy when called out. Chronic illnesses can be quality of life stealers. I've never been on reddit before, so fair warning if I mess something up. I bought a tub at an auction once full of beanie babies. Any time you have any kind of struggle in your lives, you'll be dealing with this guy. 2.) No amount of unemployment justifies this behavior. I don't think the picture was meant to be racist in any regard (and really isn't, unless you admit you think black people resemble monkeys enough to point it out . Dude. Ok that seems creepy now that I see it typed out. The more NFTs are sold the less valuable your racist money gets. I've never been on reddit before, so fair warning if I mess something up. NTA but your fianc is. He lied to you with a straight face. And that he needs to find a job if he thinks my money isn't enough. I know it is said alot on Reddit, but seriously you need to re-evaluate this relationship. Short of an apology on bended knee, even then, I dont know if I could forgive this. He helped. I would never expect my family, SO or her family to give me anything expensive as a present let alone steal someone else's present. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors. This. It is racist, period, and his family knew it and called him out on it. When people show you by their actions who they are, believe them. Its hard to know what to make of something so egregious and unexpected. It's obvious he has not one bit of sense. Not only that, but the damage done to his relationship with your family. No the pandemic didn't turn gold into tin. When it came to my turn, Dave handed me his phone. Nta. What is unacceptable and very concerning is that extra step he took. That's not a momentary lapse in judgement. Leaving to discuss things after you had some time to think was the best option. Dave presented you that present out of genuine desire to do something nice. But for your fiance to pressure someone into giving away their gift, especially without adequate compensation? You need to reevaluate if this is the kind of person you wanna spend your life with because thats really a huge red flag. This just screams immature and entitled. If you think hes never done this before its because you just havent seen it yet. I don't want someone like him walking among us. Oh yeah its making you know he isnt the one to waste your time on, Except his own family pointed out it was racist and instead of even considering the possibility he just doubled down and got mad at everyone, which is, imo, way worse than a clueless insensitive gift. Where do you sell it though? At the very least, maybe he needs to talk to a therapist if he's losing his marbles or something. How about if you have kids and something disappointing or stressful happens - how would he react? This will constantly be an uncomfortable topic for your brother, who will probably we awkward whenever you guys get around him. For example if all he can focus on is his feelings and not respecting other peoples, or if he feels entitled to your money and he feels that the lions share gift should have gone to him. NTA and I get it's a cliche on reddit to just say "break up" and be done with it but this guy has shown he will exploit and hurt your family in order to get what he wants. If hes going to turn into Mr Hyde every time things get rough (and things get rough more often than not), then thats something to take into consideration. Just trying to think of what could have caused such a horrible reaction from him. (I read an article on how people were paying thousands and millions for cryptopunk images and I knew it was the end of society. I cant imagine building a life with a person I know is awful under pressure. I normally shy away from offering this piece of trite advice on Reddit, but there are too many bright red flags here to be ignored. Okay, so basically if hes under any kind of duress/stress, now you know hes going to take it out on you or your loved ones instead of handling it constructively. Keep the pen instead of the fiancthe pen at least will be useful. So insanely fake lmao. He can't find a job? Dump the boyfriend. This is NOT a situation where you should be sympathetic on mental health grounds. He told me that he was investing in our future together and that I just couldn't see his vision. Oh. Its so much more than that. There are parts of people that only come out in times of stress. Or was just the fact that monkey pictures seem to be the golden ticket of NFTs? This is actually worse. If he can justify this he will be able to justify anything. NTA- does he really not see a problem in buying a picture of a monkey that was supposed to look like you? But bullying your 16 y/o into a bizarre trade for an Xbox is indicative of how he treats others when the going gets rough for him. I don't know, I have a hard time believing this. Lose him so well, you forget his name. F that! He'll do it again. This is who he is - a bully and an asshole who will steal from a sick kid and then throw a tantrum and try to blame her when he's caught. if she specifically requested space it to his credit. Besides, all that tells me is that he's good when things are good. And now he's giving you the silent treatment, and is angry at you and blaming you, still without apologizing. It never was. You do not deserve this treatments. And you literally have a lifetime supply. You know what else YTA ? Reddit will always be quick to tell you to break up, and ultimately it might be what you decide to do, but all I can say is reevaluate his values overall. The real gift is that he did this before you married him. Then I realized maybe I should mention what happened a few years ago, (in case he has it) and you are tempted to brush it off as bipolar. Some people will make money of these things, but not those who came in so late that it costed 8k! I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. I am so sorry for your Christmas and hope your New Year's celebration is better. your soon-to-be in-laws. Is it just that he feels entitled? I really dont see how he spent 8k on a photo on the phone. NTA Even if the gift was not offensive, which obvs, I bet he didn't even get you the present. Forget it. Yes, mental illness doesnt excuse behavior, but just like we dont break up with someone because they break their leg and cant walk, we shouldnt just break up before we see if someone is willing to get help (and then apologize and make amends). Is this a fucking joke? Figured out its either do it alone or make me the leader cause I read the instructions. Because if not than this whole thing is BS. I would not be surprised AT ALL if your partner managed this by saying something like "See, little bro, the thing is that OP has been working so hard and she loves you, but an xbox is too expensive. As a guy, there is no way in hell Id let this deadbeat date my sister. And here is how you explain it to your friends and family: "My ex-fiance stole my brother's XBox so I dumped him.". That is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard. I honestly have no idea how your family can ever look at him the same againits just pathetic. Thats the lowest you can go on xmas right? Real men don't do shit like this and emotionally manipulate and strong arm children into letting them steal their gifts. He admitted that he said that in anger and that he's sorry he ever said it because he knew it wasn't true. Well I hope his family has been schooling him on what a moron he's been. NTA but I gotta call bullshit on this story because the new Xbox is way more than $300 and I don't believe someone stole a last gen console. Lmao @ his vision. I dont see how that would be a good gift for anyone. NTA. But an NFT makes this even worse. This also completely nullifies his argument he is trying to make about how they struggle to pay rent. also NTA. EDIT: For those of you who wanted an update, here it is. Also, hes a fucking asshat for stealing a Christmas present from a sick 16-year-old boy, holy crap. Im not really knowledgable about this topic in generall, but how in the world is 8k for a picture of a monkey that is supposed to look like you (which is pretty racist if you ask me) an investment for the future? Behavioral changes after a stressful event like that can be symptoms of an underlying health problem--nd not necessarily psychiatric problems either. Yeah, anyone can be lovely when everything is going well, but you get see their true nature when you see how they deal with tough times. So few people know its origin these days. You've probably never seen someone peeking through their their tears during an argument to see if the crying is working or not. Just think of how many Xboxes he could trade that for! Sounds like a government pen might be the pen for you! He stole from your sick brother. He's not even remorseful or apologetic. If he doesnt understand how egregious this is, its hard to know where to go with this. Leave him with the rent and bills. He said 8k. Quite honestly he deserves it. He then started explaining to me how he had gotten into investing earlier this year and had saved up to by it for me. I've never had one run out of ink before I lost it. I bet after the wedding ALL of his true colors shine. There are also reasonable responses to stressful life events, and unreasonable responses. Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host, Alejandra! The only things that I'll admit is that I'm Black (26f), my fiance is Caucasian (27m), and he works in the tech industry. That means, by default, they should be at least a little bit important to him. You are absolutely NTA. It's no longer the rare new thing but rather a thing everyone has. I know OP said that this seemed like it came out of nowhere and he never acted like this before, but it's SO over-the-top awful behavior that anyone capable of pulling this, even in bad times, doesn't deserve any sympathy or leeway. Please Do not marry this sucker. Out of character behaviour when he's not getting his way - that actually is his character, you've simply not seen it because the conditions were not right. Time to swap your fiance with a gentleman . Really work hard to imagine this is a stranger's post. Sometimes my hormones make me extra sensitive and easily upset. Dump him. He sounds like an asshole through and through though. The really expensive ones are just another thing jewelers figured out they can make. Did I miss something in the post? I disagree. Nta. Definitely NTA. I just dont. This. Maybe he's just never let you see this level of entitlement before, but don't be fooled. With that amount of douche, she could fill a canoe. Its extremely hard to come back from this sort of display. Not sure if I would stay in a relationship with a guy who ignored a straight forward request and spent 40 times more than he needed to on something only he thought was a good idea. He bought himself an investment in the form of an NFT. The going didn't get tough. All I can picture is Lloyd Dobler right now. If that doesnt jive with your values than your decision is easy. NTA but uh now you know your fiance handles stress by stealing from a chronically ill 16 year old bc his feelings are hurt. Jeez OP, he could have gave you an actual printed out portfolio of stocks from a listed Fortune 500 or some other actually valuable company, with some added details on how much dividends you're gonna make IN ADDITION to the 200 dollar bag that you actually wanted. I have a couple of Beanies. I would break up with him immediately. Also please protect your finances if he has access to your accounts, and ensure that any utilities or things in your name are covered. Definitely exchange the fiance. Please do yourself , your family, AND your fianc a favor by not marrying him. When you spend your after school TV time, and we had 3 whole channels, you watched it, a lot. (Sorry it took so long to update. You left out the part at the end where you dump him. Look, let's not mince words here: he stole a christmas present from a chronically ill child during a global pandemic. You have every right to be mad because you WERE disrespected, as was your family. I think that's being a bit harsh on the family. 8k for said monkey pic, He will probably be out of a job at some other point, or money will be tight for some reason, and you already know what his reaction will be. Youre worth 8k. How is he going to react if you treat yourself to something nice. I get that maybe he really wanted that gift and perhaps felt neglected that you got it for your brother instead. "He told me that he was investing in our future together and that I just couldn't see his vision. Go to a ranting sub or something, but half the stuff on this sub is incredibly obvious. Why and how long have you been with this guy? Rather than coming to terms with how terrible it was he is sticking to his guns thinking that you're the bad guy for taking your gift back to your sick brother. You do not get to take things from others that do not belong to you. I reckon hed be a controlling AH who didnt let her have a say since its his money. I think you know youre NTA in this situation. If hes willing to argue with you over your teen brothers X-Box, then he might not be the man for you. I bought my husband a fountain pen for $350. Horrifying. You did the right thing. If, however, things actually did go down exactly as you say, then you need to reevaluate why you are with this man. The ball is definitely in your court though this was his mistake not yours. He lost his old job 3 months ago. Because this one event included: fianc deliberately getting rid of OP so that he could bully a sick child without anyone around to protect the child. NTA and no offense but you are married to a child clearly. I honestly think this NFT shit is just a fad, people are buying these things left and right and how they are valued is arbitrary. An NFT is not an investment. Mine are. It used to be one of my favourite holidays, but a few years back I cut contact with my prick of a sperm donor after I had a breakdown over believing I'd ruined the holiday for my father's side of the family. Consider this in pre-martial counseling or pre-marital decisions. NTA but Dave sure is. Ask yourself what your brother felt when this adult man came into his room and started to pressure him to exchange a pen against the XBox he dreamed to have. Girl, you need a new boyfriend.. Tf is he on?? I know everyone else is saying to dump your fiance, but you did say this is out of character. Nta sounds like your little brother's more mature, appreciative, and kind than your fiance. Wow. Who was the artist, are people really thinking itll go up or be sold for more?? https://www.wired.com/story/nfts-hot-effect-earth-climate/ is an article I found on it. Gross. So they're special and unique the way a photo of a Mr Potato Head is. JFC, please don't get married to this selfish AH. More than consider. Not pressure a teenager into giving him one. It will just be hidden while things are going ok. none of this is any excuse. Could you explain? Depression, loss of a job, etc. Its about GIVING to others in your life. I'm going to second what other people have been saying. You would be the asshole if you didnt dump the piece of crap that bullied your sick little brother. I'm not a collector but just happened to like these particular ones. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. You surely meant to write Ex-fiance, right? Because he probably shouldnt be. Its stupid. Id recommend you not finalize your wedding plans until he agrees to address this with a professional. If this is real. HE showed you how he will act entitled to your things when some fall get him, this time bc he didn't had a job, I assure you when he goes back on working he will be all roses and love until something happens again and he make you the cause of his misfortune and humiliate you in front of others ( this time your family on Christmas). His own family thought it must be a joke, I honestly think they knew what he was doing half way through which is why it was so uncomfortable. My most charitable reading is to think that maybe he realized what a terrible gift it is, and is deeply embarrassed of it, and is lashing out at you. Now, why would you marry someone and possibly start a family after something like that? He literally stole from a sick kid. I've never seen this many red flags. I often wonder how people post things and not realize they are with toxic people. Obviously not. Like I said, probably is just a d-bag and OP overlooked a bunch of red flags and made excuses for them in the past, and is now just ignoring them because she moved on and forgot about them. It's essentially baiance (pronounce Beyonce lol) throwing his rattle out of the pram because he didn't like his presents, saw an opportunity and took advance of your brother. YTA for writing this post while knowing you're in the right and just wanting people to tell you that you did good. Honestly it sounds like this is why the family was laughing like wtf is our white son thinking giving his black fianc a racist painting, more of a shock laugh than a haha laugh. None? You pressured him. This guy violated your trust, harassed your brother, embarrassed you in front of your family, STOLE a present you carefully and intentionally bought and now he's playing the sullen victim? My great grandparents had 17 children. All their pieces are of different stylized monkeys. I am 28 I bought all of my things for $90+ by myself. So, Dave and I decided to spend our Christmas with his parents, his 3 brothers, and their spouses. He was so happy and I'm glad I was able to cheer him up during those times. Then hes being a baby saying its between me and him NO. NFTs have no value, it's just a pump n dump. Lastly, anyone white and foolish enough to buy a monkey pic resembling a black person without the express request of said person is in need of a very long talk. Yike yikki yakki, you need to run before he drags you into whatever grave he's digging himself in! Completely ignored your direct request of a gift NTA But I think you made a typo as you're obviously engaged to a 3 year old not a 30 year old. NTA, a gift that is for him, not you. That was sleazy and heartless. OP, your fianc is just showing more of himself. 2) instead of getting you that purse, he gets a painting of a freaking monkey. He knew it was a shitty thing to do (thus him lying about it and hiding it from you), he did it anyway, and now he's putting the blame for his actions all on you. Was he going to actually make it an even trade in the future or did he really think a pen was fair trade? FUCK YOUR FIANC. What he did was horrendous and NTA 100% but definitively saying this is who he is might be a bit hasty. 3) he tried gaslighting you to believe your brother agreed to this outrageous exchange. I told him that all I wanted was a $200 bag and he spent 8k on a monkey picture! I know mine are. Or the stress of buying a house? imagine being 30 years old pressuring a child for an xbox embarrassing, wow. We both work and we both share rent and other expenses. Your reaction was completely reasonable in the circumstances. Does he think it's going to jump in value? She's a Type 1 diabetic and apparently an infection like that can REALLY mess with a diabetic. It can be frustrating for my partner but I take ownership of it and do my best to avoid extending the negativity outward. You should reevaluate your relationship with your fianc because you deserve someone better. They generally end up with the little holder broken off, or bite marks in them (if you're a pen chewer) or the cap missing. You really want to live with this guy for your entire life ? Possibly. (2) an investment of any sort is not a gift. NTA. My best friend went through something similar. If thats not a dealbreaker then idk what is. One of my friends bought a shitty nft at the start of the year for $200 and sold it a few months later for $35k! To your brother? The odds that those servers will all be running in a decade or even a year are LOW. You need to either get that guy some prof help or get yourself out of there. I hope your brother still loves his Xbox. Tech bro thinks this NFT will be worth millions in a few years and you should be thankful. Giving his black fiance a picture of a monkey. He made them uncomfortable because of something they didn't even have a hand in doing (you're the one who gave the gift so his issue was with you, but he dragged them into it). I really hope its the second for OPs sake. His lack of empathy was responsible for his poor choices, but when you didn't react the way he expected, did he examine himself? They don't even recognise it. NTA. Your fiance hasn't been who you want him to be/thought he was lately. You're not the asshole, but your fianc definitely is NTA. You mean ex fiance. He said that he's not going to sell it he'll delete the wallet and eat the cost. He didnt just steal from a kid, he stole from a sick kid. Stuff like that (yes, I know apes arent monkeys, but they were included in the jokes). NTA. If my SO spent 3-6x more on someone else's present, getting them something that I also really wanted, I would be irked. Saw a stall at an antique mall selling them for like 5 bucks apiece while I bought the whole tub for like 10 bucks--they weren't seeing any business. When I find you, I'm going to take out your eyes and shove them down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap out you! How are you not appalled to the point of ending it? Edit to add, if he feels so shitty about not being able to buy himself the things he wants he should look harder for a freaking job. So, Dave and I decided to spend our Christmas with his parents, his 3 brothers, and their spouses. Consider that when things get tough, this is his character. God. Shop Now READ MORE: 50 Cute Christmas Gifts for Couples 13. And who he is is a manipulative thief. Looks like you are engaged to a child. My fianc isn't talking to me saying that I have no consideration for his feelings and not understanding how he feels not having money to buy himself the things he likes. Im sorry you know the pain of chronic illnesses too. Send him home to his family and then start the eviction process. Post an update about what your brother says, if you can! I dont know how your parents didnt kick him the fuck out because I would of. That is so flatout racist that a blind person could see it. NTA. The fact that he can justify doing that to your sick brother should be reason enough to kick him out, INFO: Did he ask for anything specific, or was it "Meh, surprise me? Hes definitely showing that he wont be a good long term partner if he resorts to pressuring children for things he wants as soon as he doesnt have money. Then said that even if he did, the problem here isn't his actions but that you are not catering to his feelings. You should have went out the front door instead of going to the john to cry. It's good that the in-laws also recognized his stupidity, but might also be a clue that your fiance ALREADY knew about the racial implications and chose to compare you to a monkey anyway, regardless of the fact that it's completely racist and hurtful. Wild. You forgot to include your judgement Ok-Beginning. He said that his brothers always made fun of him for getting a job in the tech field and he thought that they were just doing it again by dragging me into it. You need to show him the responses here and tell him to go pond sand as he walks down the road. Crazy how the Fianc is upset because he doesnt have money for an Xbox. NTA. What will happen if something goes really wrong? Do you really wanna say that, because some idiotic racists equate black people with monkeys, that you would reject a NFT worth hundreds of thousands of dollars? I told him that all I wanted was a $200 bag and he spent 8k on a monkey picture! I feel like as a parent there if you're going to chew them out you do it on the spot in front of the person they insulted doing it in private afterwards sends a message to everyone else there (especially op) that this is ok behavior in your family After the initial shock, the brother brought that up. NTA. If you marry someone who bullies and steals from a child, then there is something really wrong with your priorities. I did admit to him that I posted on here for judgement and he felt bad because he believes that I should've never thought of myself as the asshole for a minute. My mind thinks there likely isnt even a ring to give back. But if OP truly truly believes that this is a sudden and unexpected shift, they should be seeking medical attention. There is no excuse for that. Good luck. Not for the money, but because he was jealous that you didn't buy it for him. He's emotionally abusive. Doesn't seem so. They laughed at him. Her boyfriend has two sons from a previous relationship. Also I dont think your family will get over this any time soon thats going to make things hard for you with your fianc on one side and family on the other. Your fiance cleay doesn't seem to care about that. Even his family seemed to be on your side. He needs to stand up to that, or you have a serious problem. Your fiance bullied your chronically ill, teenage brother into giving him the best tangible thing he's got in his life right now. That's like Drug addict behavior. You can't count on him when things go bad. It does not ALWAYS mean that the party who is employing that behavior is abusing or manipulating their partner in other ways or that there is a power imbalance. If you can do that without anger in your voice or facial expressions it may help Dave to fully understand the level of hurt you are experiencing. Please find someone better. Then I suggest you sell your NFT when etherium is at a higher value than it currently is, withdraw it as USD and buy yourself the bag plus whatever else you want. IMO your fiance just wasted 8k. I get that. He didn't even buy YOU a gift, since he said it was an investment. In this case, despite OP saying its massively out of character and from left field, and that he has recently lost his job and that he is likely depressed and needs some mental help, hes basically Satan. This is who your fianc really is, please believe what you're seeing and understand that it's not an aberration. Yup, this family will absolutely be talking about this for years. Which somehow feels worse to me. In no way are you an AH here. It really sucks and it's not fair. The most likely scenario is the fianc is a jerk. Is he with you because he fetishizes your skin colour? A whole decade of knowing you, what you like, who you are. When the Star company goes under the list of fake star names is gone, and when the NFT hosting companies go under the images they supply disappear and you now own a URL that links to no image. Is he still your fianc? I think a serious conversation needs to take place so they can both explain themselves and their reasoning, then apologise if they feel it's the right thing to do. NTA and I'm hoping it's ex-fiance by now, jeez My husband has given me questionable gifts over the years, but a juice extractor has nothing on this. Yeah, even his family were like WTF. God I just wanna hug you. And I honestly can't imagine you having a happily ever after with this guy. The AH is for sure I hope the soon-to-be ex-fianc. Any reasonable person would have deduced that you were going to get something else." "If you didn't? Regardless, you need to get away from him. I have a baby brother too and if anyone fucked with him, therell be hell to pay. Reading the story, I wonder if he even actually gave OP the NFT. I hope this post is a joke else u really need to reconsider this relationship. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. There's no way someone is seriously asking this? This is not just the sort of thing depressed and struggling people do. Omg girl, no, you're not the asshole and honestly you should run away and definitely not marry this man. How is dropping $8K on a monkey portrait investing in the future of your relationship? Where do you live that 5-year-olds are allowed to marry?! Shouldn't marry a 30yr old petulant child. NTA obviously. The drama surrounding these video game consoles is something else. I feel for this woman big time. NTA. why is he still your fianc? Getty Images/EyeEm. Those fuckers would be lost without a trace within the year in my experience. So now my kitty that at least one of sold for quite a bit on eBay is still in my desk and well loved. NTA. Yeah Leaving aside the fact that if this was genuine it would be a blatant NTA, what is going on here? I cant even believe what I just read RUN as far and fast away from this guy as possible. Not by a long shot!! He thankfully is no longer obsessed. You draw a cow, the cow comes to life, that kind of pen. Im not even going to say anything else. I don't get why people even post this stuff. Asking why they "didn't defend him". Also, he's not trying to find a job. I've been going back and forth for days on whether or not I should post this, but I'll do just to get it out of my system. It's put so much strain on her, and she didn't tell me why she's been so stressed and working so late (you haven't) or I would have chipped in. My husband had heard what he said but didnt really register it, and no one came to my defense. This is who your fiance is when things don't go his way, and this is who he is going to be in the future when things don't ho his way. Not having a job is really tough, especially if you've been searching for a while--it makes you feel worthless. My heart is racing! Hes showing you how selfish and manipulative he can be when hes going through a hard time. Love or not this is a step beyond a red flag this is straight up entitlement IMO but whatever whatever again IMO this shouldn't even be a question on this one as plenty of others have said, get out, get out fast, get out clean and don't look back as this behavior as is is vile and vulgar and likely will only get worse. First, I like to say thank you for everyone's help. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. It was straight up bullying and theft. NTA- and you need to dump him, take a note from my mother, struggling to make it with a narcissist. Y'all gave me a lot to think about while I was away. This is a breakup-able offence. Nope out of this relationship sis. Even his own brothers were taken aback by what a selfish, crass, insensitive non-gift this was. This is how he reacts after just three months of being out of work. It would seem you have a lot to think about. Sending Internet hugs your way. It's just another side of him that woulsve come out eventually. "If it has tires or testicles, sooner or later its going to give you problems.". Get a job . And this behavior from a 30 year old man? He's 30, not a teen boy. Your brother. I apologized to my brother and my parents and I felt awful because of how my fianc behaved. My fianc looked at the Xbox I got for my brother and didn't stop talking about it. I bet hes actually done a bunch of little stuff like this before but only to you and not to someone you love so it hasnt stood out before. What an absolute dick. If he wants something nice he cant get for himself, he will literally go take it from vulnerable people. He could have bought a car. I get they aren't ideal but money earned is money earned. There is a million dollar bounty, from a financial research company on Wall Street, that specialises in credit checking, audit etc., who are like "even we dont know who's backing tether. But if he's unreceptive OP should drop the guy instantly. Run. So true, this wasn't an error of judgement, this person is just a horrible human being. The gift he bought was for himself. ", But yeah, he's still the asshole. He stole a damn gaming console. We both work and we both share rent and other expenses. He spent your entire family gathering complaining about the Xbox you gave your brother and eying it, so much so that your parents were uncomfortable. He bought a so-called investment piece for himself, basically, and called it a gift to you. I was asleep when he came back. OP be warned.. Being confused at the reaction.). This is the only logical response to something so goddamn egregious. Why would you still call this asshole your fianc?! He is acting like a school boy. My bf has learned a lot about me. Dont marry someone so socially inappropriate or financially unstable. Her brother's illness just highlights even more clearly the financs lack of empathy. "Babe, I took your brothers xbox, because you know we struggle with rent. OP's not an asshole for getting made. INFO; is he stupid in an oblivious way? He got you something ridiculous and spent wayyyyy too much on it. Xmas day comes around and there is no gift for her under the tree. Wow. This reveals a lot about his character and you know it. But the prices for random crap NFTs have been rising. Imagine being so jealous of a kid with a chronic illness's Christmas gift that you sort of kind of (basically) STEAL it. And that is completely understandableyou go through a living hell of a car ride, which wears you out, and then you are pretty much forced to take care of a baby that isn't even your own. Ten? That's nothing. My now wife is truly my partner and teammate in everything we go through. This man will make struggles harder for you. Id consider this a Christmas blessing that this side of him came to light. I'm using a throwaway account because I'm embarrassed having to ask this question to begin with, so I'm going to leave some things vague on purpose. You could remove like any 5 fucked up things from the equation and it would still be bad enough to make me gasp a bit. their possible one source of joy in a crappy year? Wed be at a zoo, point to an orangutan, and say look, uncle, its you! Or hed buy us a stuffed chimp and say it was us. All you wanted was a $200 purse and you got this mess. Kick that fiance to the curb and do not take him back. NTA but he needs to be an ex fianc. The picture he chose was hurtful and demeaning. Think carefully OP. Can you live with someone who reacts this way that often? This is the answer. 1) racist/mean 2) 8k? If there is a ring it's stamped 925 inside the band and possibly CZ for the stone. NTA, would you date any other guy who would steal from your brother? The fact that he doubled down on it and refused to apologize or set things straight is yet another huge red flag to me. I called it a throwaway account to warn people not to follow it because after this update, I'm probably not going to use it anymore. Tbh you need to cuss him out. This is a preview into a lifetime of this behaviour. However. Please tell me youre not sticking with this man! He doesn't even think stealing from a sick kid is wrong. It brought me nothing but misery. Seriously.this is disgusting red flags!!! But My fianc is currently looking for a new job. The pandemic didn't turn him into this. Thank you. She said it was $14. To not also add to the stress, but to actually have someone at your side as you work through it together cannot be underestimated. I would drop your fiance's ass SO HARD. That's an absolute frigging disgrace on his part. Personally, I'd be telling him to kick rocks. Use their terminology, it makes it sound so much worse.
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