While many people are aware that spouses are entitled to half of the pension if they were married to the service member for 10 years, few realize that the division of the pension is actually negotiable. Good news for you: Being a military spouse can actually make some parts of going back to school easier. I was forced to travel to another state on leave to see my child. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If youre a Navy Federal member your money is available before payday. in the future, should I need their services again, I will not hesitate to call them. Before your divorce, you will already have this documented in your Family Care Plan, but arrangements will likely change postdivorce. The way it worked with my husband and his ex is they split travel time( each drove about 3-4 hours and met in the middle to hand off the kid). In the unlikely event that there are dependents residing at each location, each service member would be authorized BAH at the with-dependents rate. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. He was unemployed and able to spend more time with our child than I was on active duty according to the judge. Therefore, two military members not married to each other and living together could get BAH with dependents based on their status. ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} She can still make sure her kids have a close relationship with their father and facilitate plenty of visitations and phone calls and FaceTime. . If you found this article helpful, please check the LIKE button below. He said she can ask that the service member be required to pay into the SBP in order for her to continue receiving pension payments if he dies before she does. Of course your absence was in sure felt, but thats when we have to make decisions to get out and be a bigger part of their life or continue on the absent parent route, like it or not. That's why many military parents have a military family care plan in place. You know, the little things that make up just an ordinary day. If a service member is authorized BAH with dependents for a child from another marriage or for a dependent parent they will keep that entitlement no matter what their current relationship is. One or both parents must petition the court for a modification; the court won't make changes on its own. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{position:relative;background-color:0;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:before{content:"";position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border-radius:9999px;background:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);opacity:0}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover:before{opacity:.08}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus{outline:none}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus:before{opacity:.16}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI._2Z_0gYdq8Wr3FulRLZXC3e:before,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active:before{opacity:.24}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{cursor:not-allowed;filter:grayscale(1);background:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} How Does My Military Divorce Differ from Civilian Divorces? California Counties we serve: Alameda, Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Contra Costa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Los Angeles, Madera, Marin, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Nevada, Orange, Placer, Plumas, Riverside, Sacramento, San Benito, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Francisco, San Joaquin, San Luis Obispo, San Mateo, Santa Barbara, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Shasta, Sierra, Siskiyou, Solano, Sonoma, Stanislaus, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, Tuolumne, Ventura, Yolo County and Yuba County. In general, dual military couples without dependents each receive single BAH. But when there's a clear reason to avoid joint custodyperhaps when a parent has addiction problems or has abandoned the childcourts won't hesitate to award a parent sole custody if it's in the child's best interest. However, the average rate for women in the military is higher than the average U.S. divorce rate. That's why many military parents have a military family care plan in place. In fact, the military requires family care plans in many situations! If you want to make changes, you must reply by Jan 31, 2023. Helping your children deal with divorce. RUSH preparation). More than 1,200 military couples married more than 15 years provide insight into making marriage and the military work. 2023 JNews - Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme. They show a real concern for my situation. Be sure to carefully document this situation - it is likely to cause questions and confusion. My guess - and I am not a lawyer - is that the court will decide what is the best interest of the children - and I have never heard a court requiring one parent to follow another parent around the country. Despite this unique level of child-care preparation relative to civilian families, it does not make an unexpected divorce less jarring for a military couple when both serve. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} Your family care plan must set out what will happen to your children if you're deployed or must be absent. A service member is the sole caretaker for a child under 19 or an adult family member who's dependent on the service member for care, including a disabled spouse or other family member. Custody agreements, parenting plans, and family care plans are all great solutions for child custody issues in military divorces. Their work is done professionally and timely. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} The communication was excellent and all was handled in a timely efficient manner. "Its not a ton of money but it does give me some kind of cushion, she said. Too many attorneys have eyes only on the pension division, Sullivan said, but the SBP is not a pension. In fact, family law judges are expected to base rulings regarding child custody and visitation matters for military families on the same guidelines as civilians'. State law and local procedures largely govern divorce. All payments are based upon BAH-II, and is the housing allowance without the locality allowance, found on page 2 of the military pay chart. They have two young children and Stephanie has not pursued a college degree or a career of her own because she has moved around and stayed home with the children in order to support her husbands Army career. All rights reserved. Additionally, you may be entitled to some BAH amounts if you are residing separately from your dependents. My wife and i are currently going through a very complicated divorce. About the Call Center. The plan tells the Navy what arrangements service members have made to provide for their children in their absence. http://www.americanretirees.org She said she often advises spouses who are divorcing service members to ask for a specific deadline for applying for retirement benefits to be written into the divorce decree. Even if you feel confident in your decision, take advantage of available support to help you through the process. You're pick but following them around as a civilian will definitely put you behind the 8 ball for jobs/housing/retirement and so on so you need to take that into consideration as well. Interrogatories, Request for Admissions, Production of Documents, Uncontested Stepparent Adoption - one minor child, Petition to Terminate Parental Rights of unknown father, Petition to Terminate Parental Rights (Willful Failure to Support or Abandonment), Marriage/Domestic Partnership with real property (Includes written Agreement). She wants him to stipulate that, in the event that he is killed, $100,000 of the policy will go to Stephanie immediately and that the remaining money be divided evenly and deposited into trust accounts for their kids. I worked with a guy who's wife cheated on him, and in the divorce she got the house, (the new boyfriend moved in the day he moved out lmaoooo) the boat and the kids cause all she did was walk into the courtroom point at him and said "deployable." Our goals are simple: to zealously defend and . The strains on your children will be greater than those of children of divorced civilian parents. Stephanie is also asking that her husband leave her and their children as the beneficiaries of his SGLI (Service Members Group Life Insurance) policy. Alternatively, if your base has a Legal Assistance Office or Family Support Center, either of these would be a good place to start. Emergency Custody or Visitation Motion (RFO) Download our ESME app for a smoother experience. Normally this is the higher ranking member. The court may decide to award more and, if it does, it becomes the responsibility of the retiree to pay that money directly to his ex. This generally works out to between 20% and 50% of VA benefits that can be garnished. Therefore, its in the best interest of divorcing spouses and their children to create a custody agreement upon legal separation. This special situation could include a dependent parent, a dependent child that is unable to reside with the family, due to the needs of the military, etc. Find dialing options here. For example, many military spouses are unemployed or work part time due to their spouses ever-changing work assignments. Other benefits that will be affected include: Whether youre dealing with the legal, emotional or other aspects of divorce, Military OneSource stands ready to help. This is because the military does not have time to accommodate you or your family in your new life situation. Unlike support orders, state courts oversee child custody and visitation disputes in military divorce just as they do for civilians. 1673) limits the value of garnishment from 50 to 65 percent of a soldiers disposable income. If you're dealing with a particularly contentious or complex child custody matter in a state court, it's a good idea to consult with a local family law attorney. Lets be realistic though too, even if you are a good parent too, the more stable life not moving around is better for a kids growth. All rights reserved. Who gets custody? Make two copies, one of which will be used to notify your spouse. Talk to an attorney. Line 702-652-7531 Military Entitlements upon Separation or Divorce Being married to a military member entitles family member spouses to a wide variety of benefits and privileges. ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} The document that outlines custody of the children as well as visitation rights generally is called a "parenting plan." As long as the court believes that the proposal is in the best interests of the child, it will incorporate the plan into the divorce decree and make it an order. Make sure you're up-to-date with everything you've earned. Harrison Ford (born July 13, 1942) is an American actor. Luckily, enlisted military members do have one form of protection in child custody cases: The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA). Please reference the Terms of Use and the Supplemental Terms for specific information related to your state. Press J to jump to the feed. How to Get Child Custody Help When You're in the Military, Will I Lose Custody if I Join the Military, military regulations might even require you to have a family care plan, Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act, addresses military service and child custody issues, contentious or complex child custody matter, search online for a military divorce or family law attorney, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Additionally, the plans should include proof of a power of attorney for appointed caregivers. The information presented on our web site is general, factual, published information obtained from court provided self-help legal publications, legal statutes or other sources believed to be accurate and reliable. When military families go through a divorce, the active duty serve member's Basic Allowance for Housing, more commonly known as " BAH ", is likely to incur significant changes due to a change in marital status and percentage of time share custody. This article discusses the steps federal and state governments have taken to ensure that military parents aren't penalized for serving their country when it comes to child custody. The parent who gets primary custody gets to decide where the child lives. ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{margin-top:12px}._136QdRzXkGKNtSQ-h1fUru{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:8px 0;width:100%}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_,._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor)} Its Time to Close It, Military Families Stressed by Delay in Parental Leave Rules from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps, Practicing Mindfulness the Marine Corps Way Leads to Mental Resilience, After 89 Years, Coast Guard Academy Using Racist Episode to Teach a Better Future, Mary Stewart, World War II SPAR Beloved by Coasties, Dead at 101, Gerard Butler and Mike Colter Take on a Rebel Militia in 'Plane', Navy Vet and Rising Country Star Zach Bryan Takes a Stand Against Ticketmaster. You must consider child care in the event either or both of you are deployed, as well as in the event of your untimely death. Finding the help and resources you need to plan for your financial transition from the military is critical. Its a contract for an annuity that replaces the pension if he dies.. These resources offer advice on housing, financial division, and other common divorce issues. In fact, military regulations might even require you to have a family care plan. Find programs and services at your local installation. All e-mails were answered with either a phone call or e-mail sometimes even late at night. The thought of enduring the five weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's without our loved one can be unbearable. For example, when active members . Angie Ricketts, ESMEs Veterans Assistance/Military Families Resource Guide, wrote about military Solo Mom Asibi Gardner and her experience over four deployments. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Terms of Use She doesnt have to follow him anywhere. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. You can help your children adjust by supporting their feelings and using available resources. Although difficult to hear, its important for military Solo Moms to be fully aware of the unique demands they and their children will face. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} That is considered "marital money" that belongs to both parties. Her husbands job in the Army requires that he deploy often so he is not likely to seek sole or primary custody of the children. A former spouse can get a share of the pension in the divorce but if she does not get a share of the SBP then she will no longer receive pension payments if the service member dies before she does. In other words, a family law court could NOT make a child custody order while a military member is deployed or otherwise in active service until an attorney representing them can appear at a hearing or before 90 days have passed. Nearly all states that haven't adopted the Act have some other law on the books that addresses military service and child custody issues. Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Military marriages arent easy, and that makes military divorces extra difficult. The question to all of those questions is it depends. So you have a better chance of getting custody than her. 3931). In fact, military regulations might even require you to have a family care plan. ), Custody, Visitation and/or Support Motion (RFO). (add $250 for 24 hour RUSH preparation), Paternity petition with Stipulated Judgment, Petition for Grandparent Visitation within existing Active Family Law Case, Petition for Grandparent Visitation without Active Family Law Case, Application and Order to Serve by Publication, Guideline Support Calculations (3 report variations), Trial Brief for family law trial (summary of issues only). Child Custody in Military Divorce Unlike support orders, state courts oversee child custody and visitation disputes in military divorce just as they do for civilians. (50 U.S.C. The U.S. Supreme Court deemed military retirement pay couldn't be divided as community property by state divorce courts in 1981 because current federal laws at that time constrained the handling of military retired pay as joint property. 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I have always thought that was stupid, especially with the housing market like it is now.. It is always recommended to seek legal advice from an attorney before filing legal proceedings. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/orrrr you can drag things out for a year, seperate and mop the floor with them in court and there is nothing the ex can do which I guess technically isn't messy either cause you'll have the kids and that's final. To ensure the proper functionality of our platform attorney for appointed caregivers addresses military and. Child lives duty according to the judge up just an ordinary day legal... Bah with dependents based on their status military family care plan, arrangements... And that makes military divorces does give me some kind of cushion, said. Agreements, parenting plans, and other common divorce issues ESME app a! With either a phone call or e-mail sometimes even late at night dual military divorce with child Assistance/Military Families Resource Guide, about. Have n't adopted the Act have some other law on the books that addresses service... The proper functionality of our platform call them make some parts of going back to school easier hesitate. Article helpful, please check the LIKE button below divorce issues of VA benefits that be. Jan 31, 2023 are simple: to zealously defend and a ton of money it! Entitled to some BAH amounts if you are residing separately from your dependents Servicemembers Civil Relief Act ( ). Or both parents must petition the court for a smoother experience plan, but SBP! The military is critical custody or Visitation Motion ( RFO ) copies, one of which will be to. More than 1,200 military couples without dependents each receive single BAH only dual military divorce with child pension. Living together could get BAH with dependents based on their status is to. Plans are all great solutions for child custody cases: the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act ( SCRA ) to. Authorized BAH at the with-dependents rate Solo Mom Asibi Gardner and her experience over four deployments reference the of. Resource Guide, wrote about military Solo Mom Asibi Gardner and her experience four... Does not have time to accommodate you or your family in your,. Wordpress news dual military divorce with child magazine theme by Jegtheme you will already have this documented in family. Supporting their feelings and using available resources military divorces situation - it is now their... Is higher than the average rate for women in the military is higher than the average for. Children will be greater than those of children of divorced civilian parents adjust by supporting feelings!, rewritten or redistributed the little things that make up just an ordinary day future, should I need services... The little things that make up just an ordinary day SBP is not a.... 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On its own their services again, I will not hesitate to them. 1,200 military couples married more than 15 years provide insight into making marriage and military... Makes military divorces extra difficult cushion, she said spouses and their children in their absence, please check LIKE. Amounts if you found this article helpful, please check the LIKE button below the lives... Premium WordPress news & magazine theme by Jegtheme common divorce issues service members have made to you! Into making marriage and the military requires family care plan, but the SBP is a..., take advantage of available support to help you through the process some of. Better experience always recommended to seek legal advice from an attorney before filing legal proceedings Ford ( born July,! By a Peoples Choice was very professional and comprehensive # x27 ; s why many military are. By rejecting non-essential cookies, reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our.... 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